In my last blog, I spoke about eating right to keep your heart healthy, but if your arteries are already clogged, it may require surgery to clean the impurities, anger, bitterness, and depression from your heart. “Lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble” (Hebrews 12:15). In Hebrews 4:2 we find that God gave us a powerful surgical tool: “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper then any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Surgery hurts; it is not fun, but once the pus and infection is removed, real healing can begin. Some of us are carrying hurts and anger from the past. We have accepted Jesus’ forgiveness, we understand that we need to forgive others, but we just haven’t been able to let some things go.
Unresolved anger (or hurt which is anger turned inwards) can lead to bitterness, then malice, wrath, hatred, revenge, and then to depression, destructive behavior, psychosomatic illness, or even suicidal thoughts. (Rowan, at 1 1/2 has not yet learned to handle his anger, so throwing a shopping cart seemed to help.He is being trained to handle his emotions differently than throwing things.) Shame can spiral us down faster than anything. Guilt will make us pull away from God. So these thoughts must be dealt with. We have the awesome privilege of going to God in prayer and asking Him to show us what needs to be rectified. He may lead us to someone who can help us, or He may keep us on our knees and in His Word for answers. Either way, the scalpel of God’s word must do its work in our hearts.
When we are ready for surgery we must take these steps.1.) Acknowledge the hurt. Accept the fact that you were wronged and that it hurt. No one but you can decide that you need help. 2.) Grieve that hurt and loss.The loss might have been a loss of relationship, the loss of a dream, the loss of innocence, or other losses. 3.) Give your hurt to God. “‘Vengeance is Mine,’ thus saith the Lord” (Deuteronomy 32:35). 4.) Choose to forgive the other person or yourself.
Forgiveness is a choice of the will. You may still have some negative emotions about that person or situation, but if you keep asking God to give you peace and claim the forgiveness, then eventually the thought of the circumstance will no longer hold any emotional power over you. One time I chose to forgive a friend, but eight months later I would still cry when I heard her name. That was a part of the healing and grieving. Now we are actually back into a good relationship, but with some safe boundaries. Others I chose to forgive, but I have not entered back into a relationship with them because they continue to be abusive. Remember that we are to forgive as our Heavenly Father has forgiven us through Jesus. That’s a whole bunch. e can not do this on our own; we need the power of God and His word transforming our lives.
God is the Creator and The Great Physician. Humble yourself and put yourself into His hands to perform surgery that will heal and leave you not without, but with great joy!
Hint for the Day: Teach your children that anger is not wrong, but that we are responsible with what we do with our anger. In our house, the children could cry or talk about their anger, but they were not allowed to scream, hit, kick, or punch. If their reaction to their anger was too much, we would direct them to a physical activity like running, punching a punching bag, or shooting baskets, before trying to sit with them and letting them cry and talk it out. When talking to the child, stay on topic and try to help them communicate the hurt. Then lead them through the steps above.